The Really You – Really Scary

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Rory as this new thing going called ‘The Really You’ where he asks three questions, just three. OK, I’m game (again) c’mon it’s kinda fun and rather enlightening. 😉

How well do you handle stress?

Depends. Mostly, I don’t. I internalize. In an emergency situation though, I’m cool as a cucumber. A couple of months ago, SuperHubs had a Grand-Mal seizure. I got his unconscious self down onto the floor, protected his head, called 911 got the paramedics on the way, got him to the emergency room. I stayed with him the two days he was in ICU got him back home and got him sorted back out. No problem, I can do this. He’s back to himself, been released back to normal activities, NOW my immune system has collapsed, I’m sick, I’m exhausted and am having one of the worst auto-immune flares I’ve had in many years. It’s taken me weeks to get myself sorted out and I’m still suffering from the flare. So …. I handle stress really well, until the crisis is over and then I collapse.

How well do you handle your anger?

I don’t do anger. It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like it, at ALL. I avoid anger at all costs. Anger is dangerous for me, it can send me into panic attacks, tachycardia and arrhythmias real fast, too fast. I practice a little thing called the INFJ door slam. I don’t get angry, I don’t get even, I get nothing which when you think about it is really a lot more scary.

When was the last time you really lost your temper through stress?

Hard to say. When I lose my temper, particularly from stress I’m scary cold. Many years ago I lost it with my ex. I was sporting yet another black eye and I watched him slip under the bath water (he was so stoned he didn’t ever realize it), I felt … nothing as the bubbles rose. It took some time for me to decide to grab him by the hair and drag him back above the water line.

When I get truly angry, I door slam the offending individual. I kill them off in my mind, I grieve and mourn but I speak not a word to or about them, have no contact whatsoever. Unless and until they are able to make sufficient amends and my anger has cooled enough for me to accept those amends. It takes years.

My son says “Do NOT piss off my Mom, she will grab you by the ear, kick open the gates of hell and personally escort your a** right on in. And she will do it with a smile on her face.”

So that’s me, how about you?

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

JusJoJan 9 – Scrumptious

Linda’s JusJoJan prompt for January 9th, 2020, is “scrumptious.” Use the word “scrumptious” any way you’d like. Have fun! Today’s word was given to us by Maggie at From Cave Walls. Thank you Maggie!

It’s no secret that I’m a foodie, a spoonie foodie at that. So when I see the word scrumptious, one would tend to believe my mind will wander to baked salmon fillets, topped with garlic butter and lemon, or a wildly decadent black forest torte (both of which are particular specialties of mine). But no, when I think of scrumptious, my mind inevitably goes directly to my SuperHubs. Yeah, yeah I know sick and twisted. He is the sweetest, kindest human being I have ever had the honor to know. Yesterday we spent all day at a VA medical clinic undergoing evaluation for a disability claim. The question here is not whether or not he is disabled but whether it is “service related.” The outcome is entirely inconsequential to us but the evaluation is a requirement. So there you have it. It’s a long, grueling, and annoying process. Yet we manage it some modicum of grace, style and yes, humor. At the end of the day, his smile and laughter is scrumptious like a breeze across the bay.

Truly Scrumptious – from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

SoCS – The Key to Her Success

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For Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “key.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

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Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

The Key to Her Success

The skinny little wretch sat there on the barstool, mocking me.

“Oh the key to my dieting success? I just forget to eat sometimes.” She said it calmly while scarfing down an order of wings with blue cheese and one of those silly froo-froo cocktails with enough sugar to put someone like me into a coma.

I may have rolled my eyes just a little while she polished off the double order of grease and goo. I mean honestly, forget to eat? Really? Lady you gotta be some kind of stupid to forget to eat.

Now I’m in my 60’s, and I’ve forgotten a LOT of things. I’ve forgotten the budget report the day I was supposed to present it to the board of directors. I’ve forgotten my keys, forgotten where I parked my car (once when I was at home). I’ve forgotten my parents anniversary, I’ve forgotten my own anniversary. I’ve forgotten my children’s names, I’ve forgotten my purse, my phone, my bra (yeah let’s not dwell on that one). I’ve forgotten to unplug the iron, I’ve forgotten how the heck to open that stupid child-proof zip lock bag and had to get my grandson to help me. But never, ever, not once, have I forgotten to EAT.

“You don’t look bad honey, you should just get so busy you forget all about eating for awhile.”

I smiled my best Monalisa smile, snatched the last wing off the plate, chugged the last of my light beer and belched. “Sorry girlfriend, just won’t work.”

“Why ever not?”

“Eidetic memory.”

Skinny people, bah …. humbug.

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

Thanksgiving

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For the second time in 12 years, I find myself NOT cooking dinner for 200+ people. No really, I made Thanksgiving dinner at an RV park we stayed at. Park bought the turkey, gravy, ham and potatoes. I shoveled stuff in and out of ovens, peeled, cooked and mashed 60 pounds of potatoes! Yeah, kind of glad that’s over with 😉 Last year we were in New Zealand where in February they celebrate Waitangi Day a national day of thanksgiving. Ahhhh the memories.

A special treat from the old memory archives

Happy Thanksgiving one and all ~JPP

A Wolf Howls at No Moon – a MLMM Sunday Writing Prompt

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Michael is the host this week of Sunday Writing Prompt over at Mindlovemiserysmenagerie.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” –Nelson Mandela

Compose a story in which you get yourself up off the ground or from some adversity and turn your situation into something positive.

Wow! THAT’s a prompt I gotta respond to. Now, I’m a Spoonie, I have four distinct separate chronic, incurable, life altering diseases. I fight for my life every day in ways you can’t imagine (well maybe you can) but that story doesn’t feel right for this. So … let’s go with this one.

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A Wolf Howls at No Moon

The fire burned bright and warm against the cool dampness of the pacific northwest night. No moon to detract from the stars, our remote wilderness campsite was naught but varying shades of darkness. Talk flowed freely among friends around the fire, the children were all nestled in their sleeping bags in a central tent surrounded by the smaller shelters of the adults. Military all, various firearms were disassembled, unloaded and locked up. Continue reading “A Wolf Howls at No Moon – a MLMM Sunday Writing Prompt”

Spoonie Sunday – Life Toolbox – continued

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Photo from Pixabay

You know, one of the things about being a Spoonie that I am very aware of and yet always seem to forget is how quickly life can go sideways on you. That’s true of everybody but since the topic of this post is Spoonie Life, I’ll stick to those experiences.

I started this series out by talking about my morning routine, and, sure enough, the very next week life went sideways tossing said routines right out the window. Things are looking up in our dual spoonie household. I’m going to tell you a little bit today about one of the techniques we use in our daily health battles, Aromatherapy, specifically diffuser blends

Always remember that these are my opinions ONLY and what works in our house may not work in yours. Always, always, consult a physician, certified aromatherapist, or other health practitioner before starting any new regimen.

When you suffer from autoimmune issues, there are certain oils you should NOT use. This article from our friends at Plant Therapy has some great info.

I use oils in my diffuser pretty much daily. Today I have a mixture of “Energy” a Plant Therapy synergy oil, grapefruit oil and wintergreen oil. 3 drops of each which leaves the rooms nicely scented and makes me feel better. Here are a few of my favorite diffuser “recipes” from the folks at Aromatools.com picture from Pinterest.

budget diffuser blends

A quick google or pinterest search will bring you lots more diffuser blend recipes than I could ever present here so have at it. Also, while Plant Therapy has in no way sponsored or endorsed this post, their website has great information and aromatherapists you can chat with, the blog has lots of great ideas.

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

Working on Us – Addiction and Obsession

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Week #21 Topic: Addiction and Obsession:

I would first like to say a big, Thank You! to Melanie C., of “Sparks From a Combustible Mind”, for suggesting this week’s topic. This particular topic is one I can relate to on so many levels.

One thing, I couldn’t quite decide to either ask questions pertaining to addiction/obsession or continue with the format that I’ve been using for the last few weeks, which has been writing a narrative of one’s experience.

With much consideration, I did lean towards either a narrative and/or a creative piece with regards to the following topic. I leave that choice up to you the blogger to decide which route you’d like to take.

Beckie, over at Beckiesmentalmess has a fabulous series going on right now “Working on Us” this is week 21, – Addiction and Obsession. Now I’ve been lurking around these posts for weeks/months but I don’t generally join in the discussion. Mostly because my own mental illness is full of triggers and I am very, very careful not to let myself get triggered. Why? Because a trigger episode leads to an obsession episode. That’s nasty downward thought spiral that leads nowhere good. Continue reading “Working on Us – Addiction and Obsession”

Nature vs. Nurture – a Fandango Provocative Question

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I happened upon Fandangos Provocative Question this week while perusing my reader list. WOW, I mean WOW. Here’s something I actually have an opinion on that’s kind of different for me. And then, as I read on, I came across my own answer, eloquently penned expressing my exact thoughts, on NOT MY BLOG. I mean I know great minds think alike and all. Please do pop over and read cagedunn who expresses these thoughts far better than I ever could hope to. But since this is my blog, I’ll take a bash at laying out my personal “opinion” about the question: Nature or Nurture?

A few years ago, I looked into my bathroom mirror, just a regular morning, nothing cosmic or unusual, and I saw my MOTHER. Now, my Mom was a handsome woman but we had issues (like most mother/daughters) and I really never thought I looked like her at all. But I do, I really, really do. I mean it’s downright creepy.

I inherited from her fair skin, a tendency towards mental illness and migraines. I got not a single iota of her artistic talent, I cannot draw a flower much less render an oil painting that would move you to tears. From my father I got such things as my big brown eyes, asthma, and scary high IQ.

So yeah, from a biological standpoint I’m a brown eyed, fair skinned, mentally ill, non-artistic, chronically ill, semi-genius. But oh my I am so very much more. I am more than the sum of my gene pool, I am more than the training of my childhood.

I am the grand total of every movie I’ve ever watched a dozen times, every song I’ve ever listened to, every heart break I’ve endured, every tragedy I’ve survived, every soul I’ve ever loved and every heart I have ever broken. I have taken the raw genetic and influence matrix my family provided me and I have reshaped it, broken it up and molded it back with decoupage and glitter glue into the sparkly star-shaped, mentally ill, genius, spoonie that I am today. I love too much, I feel too much, I care too much, and if you ask my husband he’ll tell you that I AM too much!  And that’s just fine with us.

So the next time you feel like you’re not special, look up at the stars try to count them, look at the sand try to count the grains. We are but a speck in the universe it’s true, but in the entire grand design, there is no other quite like you.

“Today you are you, it’s truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” ~Dr. Seuss

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

Work and the Spoonie – Stream of Consciousness

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For Stream of Consciousness Saturday sponsored by lindaghill.com

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “the last piece of mail you received.” Talk about the subject of the last piece of physical mail you received, i.e. a gas bill–talk about gas, not the bill itself. Have fun!

The last piece of mail I got was a 1099 for work I did. My subject is working as a spoonie.

Work and the Spoonie

One of the hardest parts of chronic illness, for me, has been the loss of meaningful work. For many years, I did not work to live, I lived to work. Then came the disease and the lung problems, the heart problems, the skin problems, and the back breaking, soul-crushing fatigue. I semi-retired at the age of 49. Continue reading “Work and the Spoonie – Stream of Consciousness”

Share Your World – The Burning Room

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Share Your World

I haven’t done one of these in awhile due to scheduling issues. I’m gonna take a bash at it.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? If you don’t think Heaven nor God exists, you might want answer by saying something outrageous, just for fun!

As an omnist (someone who believes there is beauty and truth in all religions but no one religion is “The Truth”) I am open to the concept of an afterlife. I hope when I arrive they say “Well it’s about time!” Implying that I’ve lived a very long life. 😉 What I’ll probably get?

St. Peter standing guard as I approach “Well JP, here’s the way it is. Heaven doesn’t want you, and Hell’s afraid you’ll take over so we’re sending you back down to earth.  Go try again.”

Insert me skipping back down the pearly walk smiling like a cat that got the canary. Continue reading “Share Your World – The Burning Room”