Working on Us – Addiction and Obsession

mental health

Week #21 Topic: Addiction and Obsession:

I would first like to say a big, Thank You! to Melanie C., of “Sparks From a Combustible Mind”, for suggesting this week’s topic. This particular topic is one I can relate to on so many levels.

One thing, I couldn’t quite decide to either ask questions pertaining to addiction/obsession or continue with the format that I’ve been using for the last few weeks, which has been writing a narrative of one’s experience.

With much consideration, I did lean towards either a narrative and/or a creative piece with regards to the following topic. I leave that choice up to you the blogger to decide which route you’d like to take.

Beckie, over at Beckiesmentalmess has a fabulous series going on right now “Working on Us” this is week 21, – Addiction and Obsession. Now I’ve been lurking around these posts for weeks/months but I don’t generally join in the discussion. Mostly because my own mental illness is full of triggers and I am very, very careful not to let myself get triggered. Why? Because a trigger episode leads to an obsession episode. That’s nasty downward thought spiral that leads nowhere good. Continue reading “Working on Us – Addiction and Obsession”

Nature vs. Nurture – a Fandango Provocative Question

baby ultra sound

I happened upon Fandangos Provocative Question this week while perusing my reader list. WOW, I mean WOW. Here’s something I actually have an opinion on that’s kind of different for me. And then, as I read on, I came across my own answer, eloquently penned expressing my exact thoughts, on NOT MY BLOG. I mean I know great minds think alike and all. Please do pop over and read cagedunn who expresses these thoughts far better than I ever could hope to. But since this is my blog, I’ll take a bash at laying out my personal “opinion” about the question: Nature or Nurture?

A few years ago, I looked into my bathroom mirror, just a regular morning, nothing cosmic or unusual, and I saw my MOTHER. Now, my Mom was a handsome woman but we had issues (like most mother/daughters) and I really never thought I looked like her at all. But I do, I really, really do. I mean it’s downright creepy.

I inherited from her fair skin, a tendency towards mental illness and migraines. I got not a single iota of her artistic talent, I cannot draw a flower much less render an oil painting that would move you to tears. From my father I got such things as my big brown eyes, asthma, and scary high IQ.

So yeah, from a biological standpoint I’m a brown eyed, fair skinned, mentally ill, non-artistic, chronically ill, semi-genius. But oh my I am so very much more. I am more than the sum of my gene pool, I am more than the training of my childhood.

I am the grand total of every movie I’ve ever watched a dozen times, every song I’ve ever listened to, every heart break I’ve endured, every tragedy I’ve survived, every soul I’ve ever loved and every heart I have ever broken. I have taken the raw genetic and influence matrix my family provided me and I have reshaped it, broken it up and molded it back with decoupage and glitter glue into the sparkly star-shaped, mentally ill, genius, spoonie that I am today. I love too much, I feel too much, I care too much, and if you ask my husband he’ll tell you that I AM too much!  And that’s just fine with us.

So the next time you feel like you’re not special, look up at the stars try to count them, look at the sand try to count the grains. We are but a speck in the universe it’s true, but in the entire grand design, there is no other quite like you.

“Today you are you, it’s truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” ~Dr. Seuss

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

Work and the Spoonie – Stream of Consciousness


For Stream of Consciousness Saturday sponsored by

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “the last piece of mail you received.” Talk about the subject of the last piece of physical mail you received, i.e. a gas bill–talk about gas, not the bill itself. Have fun!

The last piece of mail I got was a 1099 for work I did. My subject is working as a spoonie.

Work and the Spoonie

One of the hardest parts of chronic illness, for me, has been the loss of meaningful work. For many years, I did not work to live, I lived to work. Then came the disease and the lung problems, the heart problems, the skin problems, and the back breaking, soul-crushing fatigue. I semi-retired at the age of 49. Continue reading “Work and the Spoonie – Stream of Consciousness”

Share Your World – The Burning Room

SYW banner

Share Your World

I haven’t done one of these in awhile due to scheduling issues. I’m gonna take a bash at it.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? If you don’t think Heaven nor God exists, you might want answer by saying something outrageous, just for fun!

As an omnist (someone who believes there is beauty and truth in all religions but no one religion is “The Truth”) I am open to the concept of an afterlife. I hope when I arrive they say “Well it’s about time!” Implying that I’ve lived a very long life. 😉 What I’ll probably get?

St. Peter standing guard as I approach “Well JP, here’s the way it is. Heaven doesn’t want you, and Hell’s afraid you’ll take over so we’re sending you back down to earth.  Go try again.”

Insert me skipping back down the pearly walk smiling like a cat that got the canary. Continue reading “Share Your World – The Burning Room”

Celebrate Life – Stream of Consciousness Saturday

2.28.19 brighter passion

For Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “cele-.” Find a word that starts with or contains “cele” and use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

Celebrate Life!

Today the weather is spring-like. Raining and cloudy one moment punctuated by glorious bright blue skies and sunshine, only to disappear beneath the next wave of clouds. Is this cause for celebration? You bettcha! Some years ago, I came upon a profound truth that we hold our lives in a kind of limbo, waiting for the celebration. We save the pretty china for company, we rarely dress up or we make ourselves just presentable when we’re home alone (and sometimes not even that). We go about in a state of anticipation, waiting, always waiting. Continue reading “Celebrate Life – Stream of Consciousness Saturday”

An Intellectual Spoon Bender FPQ # 15


Fandango has posed another of those intellectual spoon benders this week.

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that, in the modern world, the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubts.”

Do you concur with Mr. Russell’s perspective? Why or why not?

Well, I’ve read posts by a lot of bloggers whose opinions I respect and, frankly I totally agree with all of them. Continue reading “An Intellectual Spoon Bender FPQ # 15”

Spoonie Saturday – What Color is Your Spoon?


Greetings fellow spoonies, friends of spoonies, and not really spoonies. If you’re not acquainted with what a spoonie is, here’s an explanation from the big book of wikipedia: What is a Spoonie

Today finds me in a place I love, but coming down with a cold. When you’re a spoonie, even a mostly recovered, no longer in danger of hospitalization spoonie, there is always a ghost in the machine. The specter of chronic disease haunts our daily lives. Today is about as much rest and care as possible because in two days I will begin the trek back “home” to finish out the worst of winter and pick up our RV before making yet ANOTHER trip back up to SD for the summer. Continue reading “Spoonie Saturday – What Color is Your Spoon?”

Getting to Know You

getting to know you

So msjadeli over at tagged me for this episode of Getting-to-know-me, thanks for the tag. Without further ado…

  1. Name a moment in your life when you felt you were most courageous.

I’m not what I consider a brave person. I holler for Superhubs at the site of spiders. I can’t stand scary movies. Yet for reasons I don’t really understand, most of my friends and family consider me brave. I’d like to say that I felt brave that time, when in the midst of heavy gunfire, I ran, snatched a child that was running straight into the path of danger and threw both of us behind cover, but honestly, that was reflex, not bravery. For most people bravery comes in the face of death but, frankly, I’ve stared death in the face enough times that he’s rather like an old uncle, creepy, weird, but familiar. No the only time I’d say I was really courageous was when I, finally, managed to extricate myself and my children from the bonds of a physically abusive marriage. That my friends, took guts. Continue reading “Getting to Know You”

An Extraordinary Life

kira sun scribbles 1.27.19

For Kiras Sunday Scribbles. All I can say this week is WOW, I mean like WOW. If you don’t already follow her, you really should!

An Extraordinary Life

Don’t weep for me when I am gone
no mournful dirge, no saddened song
in joy and memories delight
for mine has been an extraordinary life Continue reading “An Extraordinary Life”

Fandango’s Provocative Question # 9 – part 2


Fandango’s Provocative Question # 9 part 2

Fandango has another whopper for us this week. I already answered the first part of this but I thought I’d answer the part 2 too (pun intended).

As a blogger, do you enjoy ‘virtual relationships’? Do you consider them to be real?”

Yes, I enjoy ‘virtual relationships’ in fact I like them better than most IRL relationships. While it is true that not every virtual relationship is all encompassing, most people don’t know everything about me; the same is true of my interpersonal relationships. Frankly there’s only one person who really knows all of me and he’s sitting across the table.

Virtual relationships take on a special meaning for an introvert, even an extroverted introvert such as I (yes there is such a thing). What makes on-line (I’m just going to use that instead of virtual all the time) relationships special for me is simple expedience. They are available whenever I need them to be and they can be as deep or as shallow as I want them to be. That makes them very important and very real.

We have things in common, things we share. We have differences wide and varied that make for fascinating and illuminating discussions. I look forward to this prompt every week partly because I love reading everybody’s opinion. I have on-line a much more diverse demographic than I would ever have in person.

So, yeah, I like virtual relationship and they’re as real as anything else in this wacky world of ours. Do NOT get me started on the “Matrix” theory.

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP