Like the sunbeams that break through a window in the dense clouds so a single happy thought breaks through the window of my mind, casting light on the shadow of depression and my heart begins to sing once more
For all of us who suffer from varying degrees of Holiday depression
Lord Send that Morning – Evie
“Lord send that morning with light so bright it fills my soul with song and I will look up to the heavens and laughing I will say ‘I saw that morning coming all along.'”
I’ve talked the last few weeks about the benefits and uses for aromatherapy and essential oils for Spoonies. Today I’m going to talk about other aspects of managing chronic disease and fatigue.
I’ve been in a nasty flare for over a month now. The fatigue can best be described as “soul crushing.” It is not an exaggeration when I say that it takes me half an hour to get out of bed. It’s also accompanied by pain. Every muscle, every joint, every minute of every day. I read an interesting little blurb in Psychology Today about chronic illness fatigue and how it changes you, you can read the full articlehere.
It’s not fair, nobody should have to live like this. Yes, I’m grateful for all my blessings, I’m thrilled to have my love at home and healthy (enough). But I’m also angry. Chronic illness fatigue can make anybody angry at the whole world, and envious of “other” people. That’s OK, it’s not fair, at all, and it’s OK to feel that.
That said, this is the hand I’ve been dealt and the question becomes, “How am I gonna play it?”
Lately I’ve dipped into depression, despondency, and just plain old whineyness. I can barely stand to be around myself. So I have decided to play my hand differently. There comes a time when you just have to “Cowgirl Up” stop complaining and just do it. Joints and muscles ache, take some ibuprophen and go on. Feeling lethargic? Drink another cup of coffee and get on with life (I have a startling tolerance for caffeine). Bored (we’re usually traveling this time of year), pick a hobby and get lost for awhile. Go wander around, kill monsters, and find treasure (computer games). Grocery trip left me so exhausted I can’t think of the word for it (oogie is all that comes to mind and I’m pretty sure it’s a real word), for Pete’s sake stop trying to impress the world with how well you manage and GO LAY DOWN for 20 minutes.
The point I’m trying to make with this mini rant is that life ain’t fair, chronic illness is seldom a “happily ever after” story, but there are lots of things I can do to improve my circumstances. Ways to fight back and live the best life I can. “Every year 2 million people die of dehydration. So it doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, there’s water in the cup. Drink it and stop complaining.” ~Rudy Francisco
True Stories – Rudy Francisco
What doesn’t kill you – Kelly Clarkson
Till next time ~Cowgirl Up and hang onto your spoons ~JPP
I would first like to say a big, Thank You! to Melanie C., of “Sparks From a Combustible Mind”, for suggesting this week’s topic. This particular topic is one I can relate to on so many levels.
One thing, I couldn’t quite decide to either ask questions pertaining to addiction/obsession or continue with the format that I’ve been using for the last few weeks, which has been writing a narrative of one’s experience.
With much consideration, I did lean towards either a narrative and/or a creative piece with regards to the following topic. I leave that choice up to you the blogger to decide which route you’d like to take.
Beckie, over at Beckiesmentalmess has a fabulous series going on right now “Working on Us” this is week 21, – Addiction and Obsession. Now I’ve been lurking around these posts for weeks/months but I don’t generally join in the discussion. Mostly because my own mental illness is full of triggers and I am very, very careful not to let myself get triggered. Why? Because a trigger episode leads to an obsession episode. That’s nasty downward thought spiral that leads nowhere good.Continue reading “Working on Us – Addiction and Obsession”→
“I watch his hands as he pours the tea big hands, strong hands hands that belie the gentleness of their touch” ~JP Pearlman 2015
Have you ever considered the human touch? We all enjoy the hug of a loved one, holding a child or parent’s hand. It’s those tiny moments of physical intimacy, of touching, that remind us we are not alone in this big bad world that we are connected on a physical level.Continue reading “Spoonie Sunday – The Most Important 15 Minutes of the Day”→
I woke one day to screaming and realized it was my own broken dishes, shattered glass I shivered all alone. For the darkness had come again broken free from his cage wreaking havoc and despair with violence and rage Tears fell from my eyes and landed on the floor I shook my fist at heaven and then I cried NO MORE! I swept the bits and pieces and patched up every wall and then I went inside myself and built a holding cell Made up of logic and of reason it would hold the darkness well Continue reading “Darkness Lies Within”→
