The Really You – Really Scary

really you

Rory as this new thing going called ‘The Really You’ where he asks three questions, just three. OK, I’m game (again) c’mon it’s kinda fun and rather enlightening. 😉

How well do you handle stress?

Depends. Mostly, I don’t. I internalize. In an emergency situation though, I’m cool as a cucumber. A couple of months ago, SuperHubs had a Grand-Mal seizure. I got his unconscious self down onto the floor, protected his head, called 911 got the paramedics on the way, got him to the emergency room. I stayed with him the two days he was in ICU got him back home and got him sorted back out. No problem, I can do this. He’s back to himself, been released back to normal activities, NOW my immune system has collapsed, I’m sick, I’m exhausted and am having one of the worst auto-immune flares I’ve had in many years. It’s taken me weeks to get myself sorted out and I’m still suffering from the flare. So …. I handle stress really well, until the crisis is over and then I collapse.

How well do you handle your anger?

I don’t do anger. It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like it, at ALL. I avoid anger at all costs. Anger is dangerous for me, it can send me into panic attacks, tachycardia and arrhythmias real fast, too fast. I practice a little thing called the INFJ door slam. I don’t get angry, I don’t get even, I get nothing which when you think about it is really a lot more scary.

When was the last time you really lost your temper through stress?

Hard to say. When I lose my temper, particularly from stress I’m scary cold. Many years ago I lost it with my ex. I was sporting yet another black eye and I watched him slip under the bath water (he was so stoned he didn’t ever realize it), I felt … nothing as the bubbles rose. It took some time for me to decide to grab him by the hair and drag him back above the water line.

When I get truly angry, I door slam the offending individual. I kill them off in my mind, I grieve and mourn but I speak not a word to or about them, have no contact whatsoever. Unless and until they are able to make sufficient amends and my anger has cooled enough for me to accept those amends. It takes years.

My son says “Do NOT piss off my Mom, she will grab you by the ear, kick open the gates of hell and personally escort your a** right on in. And she will do it with a smile on her face.”

So that’s me, how about you?

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

4 thoughts on “The Really You – Really Scary

  1. I really admire your anger response. I wish I could do that. I grew up with a parent that exploded (at what might be a minor incident), and I learned to avoid anger. My other parent did a thing called “stuffing”. they’d push their anger down and down and finally…yep. Huge explosion. Destructive. I didn’t care for that any more than I did the other parent who blew up randomly. For years I stuffed though. When I got angry, I GOT ANGRY. These days, I get angry a lot more easily than in the past and I rarely stuff it down any longer. I don’t know which is better or worse…I like the idea of just banishing the anger period. Thanks for sharing your answers…it’s so interesting to read about others’ responses to those type of questions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think stuffing is worse, internalizing just prolongs the inevitable (IMO). The door slam is a double edged sword. That feeling of “nothing” can be disturbing, like I’ve lost a part of myself but only when it’s someone I actually care about. Random rude people, don’t even rate a second thought, I throw a pitying look their way and go on with my life. 😉

      Like

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