Share Your World – The Burning Room

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Share Your World

I haven’t done one of these in awhile due to scheduling issues. I’m gonna take a bash at it.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? If you don’t think Heaven nor God exists, you might want answer by saying something outrageous, just for fun!

As an omnist (someone who believes there is beauty and truth in all religions but no one religion is “The Truth”) I am open to the concept of an afterlife. I hope when I arrive they say “Well it’s about time!” Implying that I’ve lived a very long life. 😉 What I’ll probably get?

St. Peter standing guard as I approach “Well JP, here’s the way it is. Heaven doesn’t want you, and Hell’s afraid you’ll take over so we’re sending you back down to earth.  Go try again.”

Insert me skipping back down the pearly walk smiling like a cat that got the canary.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Willow over at Patience of Willow said it better than I can but, loss of hope. Imagine being trapped in a burning room, you can feel the heat of the flames, smell the smoke, you’re choking. You struggle to keep the door closed tight so the fire can’t come in full blast. Once in awhile, a finger of flame snakes through an opening and singes you, leaves your burned and blistered with no relief in sight. The smoke keeps getting thicker. You are alone with no one to reach out to for help (or so you believe). You’re choking the hot air is burning your lungs. You know death is coming, but it’s coming with agonizing slowness. Then, you see the window, you fling it open. There’s fresh air and cool relief, but it’s a 100 foot drop. You know the fall will probably kill you, but the fire certainly will.

That dear readers, was loss of hope (suicide) for me. That room was made up of depression and an abusive relationship. Another flame (beating) was coming, I knew it, and eventually the fire (angry beatings) would break through that door and I’d be murdered. That is loss of hope. Knowing it will happen it’s just a matter of time.

Now there’s a happy ending to this story (obviously since I’m writing it). Just before I took that leap out the window, I saw another opening in the room. Just a mere crack and it opened out to an even steeper drop with jagged rocks at the bottom and deep water. This was escaping the relationship, and in many ways it was more risky than straight suicide. I would probably still die, probably horribly shattered on the rocks but … if I jumped just right, maybe, just maybe I could hit the deep water and, if I didn’t drown, I could make it to the other shore.

Guess what? I took that little crack opening, I took the leap and risked the jagged rocks. It was hard and scary but I got out of that burning room. Recovery took a few years on anti-depressants, some cognitive therapy and a whole lot of 12-step work but I made it to the other shore and waiting there, all along, was hope.

What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

My WIP, I actually get a lot of my scene inspirations there.

How would you rate your memory?

Pretty darn good for my age. I can remember quotes, songs, books, events, and all manner of cool things. Just please don’t ask me what I had for breakfast because short term is shot.

What’s one song that always cheers you up, no matter how blue you’re feeling?

“True Colors” When I hit a speed bump (depression rears it’s ugly head), Superhubs sings it too me. Go watch the movie “Trolls” and you’ll understand but *spoiler alert* Princess Poppy (me) gives up and becomes depressed, she loses her color. Branch (Superhubs) sings it to her until finally she gets her color back. Yep, that’s us, Poppy and Branch. 😉

 

 

Thanks again to Melanie for this awesome set of thought provoking questions and to Willow for her honest answers which inspired me to share something I’ve just not known how to say until I read her post.

And please, dear friends, if you ever find yourself trapped in that burning room, pick up the phone and make the call. There are more ways out than you can see.

Til next time ~Peace ~JPP

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