Many thanks to Fandango for this awesomely introspective prompt. I have been thinking about it for several days now.
“Is there a ‘blogging-you’ who is different from the real-world you? If so, how are the two ‘yous’ different? How has the ‘blogging-you’ evolved since you first started blogging?”
But it’s not really quite that simple is it? To me, it’s more another form of the universal question, “who are we”. And, honestly, I think we all have different “faces” in our personalities.
“All the world’s a stage
and all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances
and one man in his time plays many parts.” ~William Shakespeare
I think as bloggers, we tend to get a window view of our fellows. We’re looking at the blogging community, our tribe if you will, through a small window and we see part of them but not necessarily all. I still work part time in the summer at a volunteer position. The people I work with 20 hours a week, 5 months of the year, have no idea I’m a writer. It’s just not relevant to them. They care that I’m an excellent administrator and accountant. By the same token, my fellow bloggers aren’t going to be asking me for tax advice.
So I guess if you ask are different parts of me relevant to different situations, I’d have to say yes. Because, let’s face it, humans are freaking complex.
I am a mosaic, made up of bits and pieces, good and bad. Take happy childhood memories, loss of loved ones, different kinds of abuse, joys and disappointments of parenting, all the people I’ve loved, the people who have loved me, break them up into bits and pieces. Add the places I’ve been, every song I’ve ever sung, every movie I’ve ever seen, soul crushing grief, chronic illness, lots of pain, and lots of magic. Throw them in a hopper and churn them around for a few decades. Then lay them out and put them together with the mortar of age, experience, and self knowledge. What emerges as the final work, is a brilliant beautiful piece of art, the sparkly, star-shaped snarkball of awesomeness that is me. Life goes on, and new pieces are added and the picture changes. That is life.
I can’t say that I have a specific blogging persona, I’m still just who I am. But I also know that the JP you all “know” isn’t quite the same as the JP my co-workers know, certainly not entirely the same person that my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren know. You’re looking through the window of my writing and you see a part of me. Sometimes I move around through my writing and you might catch a glimpse of other sides of me. It’s all still part of the glorious composite of my personality. Like I said, I’m complex.
As for how I’ve evolved since I started blogging, I’ve gotten braver. Writing is new to me in a way. I studied a bit in college but never pursued it because writing wasn’t going to pay the bills. Hence the accounting thing. I’ve written for as long as I can remember but the experimenting with different forms, reading other types of work, developing the raw courage to put something I’ve written out there for other people to see, that I owe to you all. And for that I thank you, each and every one of you. You’ve changed the picture of me, made her braver and bolder and I love you all for it.
Til next time ~Peace ~JPP